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Retro Tech May - Three Weeks In!
It's been three weeks. Some of the longest three weeks I've had in years but I'll be completely honest - it wasn't in a bad way at all. A huge complaint of mine about life after a certain point is how seemingly fast it flies by. One day it could be january, what feels like next day and it's already march. It's not just scary but it makes it easy for you to feel like you're wasting your life away. However this month hasn't had this problem at all. I'm not sure if it was a matter of living in the moment or embracing boredom by having fewer ambushes of dopamine seeking distractions but what I know for sure is that time is moving similar to how it used to feel when I was a kid. I feel like in just three weeks I've achieved more than in three months, though that's not quite true.
Like yeah sure I learnt how to use iOS (since I've always been android only I never knew how to use an iPhone) and even how to use a Mac properly but I am someone who takes pride in trying something new whenever they're able to. I think it's less of that and actually a matter of making use of my time in a smarter way. I still use discord or bluesky on my iMac but the amount of time I spend scrolling on my timeline or even lurking around is significantly reduced, preferring more engaging activities such as gaming, watching movies and even going on walks and listening to music. I even decided to do a playthrough of GTA San Andreas and in just a few days I've made really solid progress. I often have the problem of being unable to play long sessions of a game but that hasn't been the case here. On one hand it's the fact I got immersed and that San Andreas is a seriously incredible game but on the other hand with fewer distractions I feel more incentivised to do what I love. Instead of being always available and constantly scrolling I now only do it every now and then to check on notifications. If I'm in a conversation I focus on it but otherwise my attention is mostly on the game.
I likely won't make a full review of the game but to put it briefly replaying the game reminded me why this is one of the best games of all time and I wholeheartedly believe that if I made a list of games you have to beat during your lifetime San Andreas would have to be on that list. It's a game that while scuffed here and there it has also held up incredibly. With the help of mods you can change your experience in any way you desire. I play with a minimal amount of mods, namely one to restore the PS2 colors (which are lacking on the PC and that's why the game looks more washed out there) and one that restores the Vice City pickup glow around weapons and other pickups. It's less of a PS2 thing and more of a personal choice.
Anyway going back to my personal thoughts and feelings at this point in this challenge: While around week 2 I felt depressed and was struggling real hard now I feel energized. I am having a great time and I feel a degree of mental clarity that I can't really describe but I can sense. Having the convenience of a phone capable of doing so much is a blessing and a curse. It keeps you able to stay in touch and check in on/update people in your life but it also creates the assumption of having to always be available. I thought I would feel a lot more FOMO going into this challenge but I don't. Obviously once this challenge ends I will be available more but I also wanna practice focusing on myself over being available constantly. There truly is something beautiful about being able to type "I'm gonna go do xyz, I'll catch up with you later" and actually mean it - not having to be unavailable due to an emergency but being unavailable by choice. It's a choice fewer people give themselves or allow themselves to enjoy. Being able to put your phone down and do something, maybe even something you'd use your phone with, but without doing so!
This isn't perfect but it sure makes me miss the times when phones were more limited, or at least when the assumption of availability was neither a guarantee nor an expectation. And even after this month I want to keep my phone use more limited and focus on living in the moment more. It won't be easy due to the nature of our world and society, not to mention our phones being quite addictive in nature, but I want to make a change. I may integrate the 1st gen SE more in my life so that it truly serves its purpose of being my secondary phone. I don't know how but I want to make it happen. I miss living in the moment and feeling like every single day matters. I miss living and not just being and this challenge taught me to live better, as corny as this may sound.